This isn’t what it was supposed to be

This was supposed to be a six-week step-by-step slow and low guide to treating the trauma caused by the Trump campaign. It was going to use the most recent work on trauma recovery to help you understand how you’d been hurt by the campaign and the stress of losing individual relationships while doing exercises based on different modes of trauma healing to heal your body and mind. One email a day for six weeks, and by the end you’d have yourself back.

But now the sky’s fallen in and the bottom’s fallen out and that’s not enough. How can you recover from trauma while you’re still in it?

Please give me a day to regroup on how to help all of us get through this. In the meantime, here’s how to help the kids in your life:

Here’s the truth: You will still protect your children the way you did before this election. You teach them to maintain and protect their own boundaries. You talk to the people around you so you and your children are known in the community, so if they have a problem someone will know who they are and step in to help. You spend time with family and friends and give them a bunch of caring adults.

Now, you need to curate their worlds more than you did before. Turn off media so they don’t have to hear his disgusting voice. Don’t talk about the things he’s done and said where they can hear. Erase him from their worlds as much as possible. And curate who they are allowed to be in contact with for the next week–if there have been kids or adults taunting them about Trump’s plans, protect your kids. Talk to teachers and administrators about making their classrooms and playgrounds Trump-free zones.

And this is what you tell them: “There are a lot of people who were really scared, and wanted to believe what Trump told them. They voted for him because they didn’t feel like they controlled their own lives. And that’s really sad. But it doesn’t mean that Trump has enough power to hurt you or me or your friends or your friends’ parents. It just means that we’re going to spend more time with the people we know love and protect us. And we’ll get through this together.”

Then focus on the Celebrate/Comfort/Collaborate/Listen/Inspire model from the Defending Childhood model for helping kids through trauma:

This country has gone through some horrible things before, and we will survive this. The key is going to be to hang on to just enough anger to keep us moving, and release the anger that separates us from each other. Resilience is in the community. If we didn’t have community before, here we are now, together.

Tomorrow I’m going to have a list sorted out of what are the major issues we’re going to have to protect each other against. I’m in shock right now so I’ve got to sleep and then pull it all together. You’re in shock now, so get some sleep and then talk to the kids in your life tomorrow.

We can get through this.

All my love,