Don’t spiral

Writing yesterday’s post about accepting some hard truths helped me. I’d been having moments of startling, like you do when you’re out without your kids and every once in awhile you have a little panic about where your kids are before you realize they’re home safe. I’d been having moments of startling and thinking I wasn’t doing enough and I needed to be calling someone that exact minute or everything was going to get worse.

After I wrote that post, though, it really connected for me that there are things I can’t control. Not by calling or going to my official’s office in person or divesting my money or putting my body on the line or anything. I can’t do anything about them except watch them play out and react to them to protect myself and my kids and others. I can’t stop them from happening.

And then yesterday a bunch of friends said they were having panic attacks from how fast things are going and how many things are happening, and that they’re afraid not to know what new thing has happened as soon as it happens so they can fight it. But that’s not fair to anyone. You do NOT need to know about everything that happens if only because it’s causing panic attacks, but also because once they’ve happened you can’t do anything about them.

You cannot stop something the turd-in-chief signs into law. If there is something you can do about it, someone will ask you to join. You individually do NOT need to spin and spin trying to find a way to fight.

So. If you are feeling panic attacks, do some radical self-care by stepping away from media and social media. Seek out things that calm you. Hang out with children. Do NOT allow yourself the mistaken idea that it’s all going to fall apart if you’re not watching and clenching your jaw. Tap out, and then in a day or two tap in again for your shift of watching. Then tap out. Then tap in. Rinse, repeat, for four years.

If you’re feeling calm and energized (like I am), use some of your energy trying to shift the panic attacks from us to them. Can you cause enough good trouble for the enemies that they begin to doubt themselves? Get THEM on the defensive.

188 million of us who didn’t vote for Trump, plus our kids.

All my love,


Author: Magda

I teach managers how to love their teams and have their teams love working for them. I also write the parenting and management site