Some sad truths

The past couple days have been a little overwhelming. I’m seeing a lot of us get confused because so many bad things are happening, from the USDA to the EPA to FHA to every other acronym we thought was sacred. This is the new normal, so don’t whip your head around every time you hear a noise. You can’t afford to get whiplash. Your neck and the rest of you needs to be in good shape to keep going in your life.

Sad truth #1: You can’t stop everything. Yes, some things we can stop with a bunch of calls and letters and organizing. Some things we can’t do anything about. We can’t do anything about this FHA loan thing, although the mortgage industry may be able to do something about it when their business plummets. Same with some of these other asshole moves our garbage president is pulling.

The upside: If you can’t do anything about it, just write it down in your Book Of Horrible Things and then move on instead to something you can do something about.

Sad truth #2: Your Trump-voting relatives and friends still don’t get it. They might, when things start taking effect for them. But they also might never. If they haven’t understood any of your explanations by now, they might not ever see what’s hurting you. That’s not your failure.

The upside: You can stop arguing, and save your energy for the few who do get it at some point. When they do, help guide them into resistance work with us.

Sad truth #3: No one is going to reward you for resistance work. You’ll probably be told you’re doing the wrong thing, actually, by people you deal with regularly.

The upside: You HAVE to care for and about yourself. By the end of this four years you are going to be highly skilled in being really kind and affirming to yourself. It’s time to drop all ideas that criticizing yourself is somehow noble, and start being really good to yourself. Notice the relief you feel when you get to put down the load of constant self-monitoring and recrimination.

While I think that “happiness is a choice” stuff is bullshit for a lot of us, I do think you can make specific and deliberate choices to walk away from certain fights and expectations that will allow you to feel more calm. Think about looking these truths in the eye and putting some stuff down that isn’t serving you.

All my love,


Author: Magda

I teach managers how to love their teams and have their teams love working for them. I also write the parenting and management site